Last night I went out with some friends. This is the thrid time I've been out by myself at night since our son was born a year ago. Before I left, I put the baby to sleep so all my husband had to do was be in the house. As I was leaving, instead of a "bye, honey have a good time -- you deserve a break" I got a sarcastic "must be nice." So, I came home "late" (10:30) and get the cold shoulder. Then, the baby wakes up at 6:30 this morning, I have a bit of a headache and ask hubby if he could get up with him. Well, how DARE I after he "watched" him last night while I had fun.  

Why can't he just give me a break? I'm with the baby ALL day and I need some alone time once in a while -- is that too much to ask? Also, last week we had some friends over and hubby drank so much that stayed in bed practically the whole next day -- and I didn't say a thing. I kept the baby away from him so he could rest and get some peace. Don't I deserve the same courtesy?

i have been in a marriage for 1 yr and the relationship started 13 yrs ago, he has always been very insecure and accusing me of cheating on him, he has to have control and it has done nothing but gotten worse, ALOT worse, I cant even stop at the store without being accused that I am out f------ some guy, my advice to you is seek counseling and if that doesnt help, GET OUT  some mens goal in life is to make you miserable and I have the BIGGEST  a------ in the world, you deserve to go out and you shouldnt have to walk on eggshells in your home.

simple really your husband, all males i think who are married.     when they watch there own child they are babysitting and feel they should get something for it, could be sex from you, a man toy, a nite out w what he wants to do, time at sport bar, hunting what ever.   they believe that the woman is doing what she was put on this earth for, sex breeding taking care of young,  if you put your self in a position where he pays the bills and you stay home,  he will feel he has done his part by paying the bills,  why are you complaining ? or nagging is what he calls it......he has a REAL job!! , he believes,   he does not VALUE the sacrifice of time, youth, and goals you had before you met him.   Let me say this again He does not VALUE what you value.    thats a hard one for women to get,   when you do, alot of things will start changing,  hope you dont wait till your in your 40's for it to happen, because thats the age when men go through middle life crisis, and thats a whole new ball field.   take care c_K

Oh yes, I'm seeing a lot of double standards here and I'm seeing some very true things from the ladies who already responded.  Yes, it's true; Most men believe that it is a woman's job to take care of a child born to both of them.  Here's my suggestion: just keep making him take care of the baby.  Whether you're there or not.  You're both home, the baby cries, tell him the baby needs a bottle and then just keep sitting there thumbing through your magazine or watching your tv show, whatever you were doing before.  Make him get a taste of what it's like to drop everything you're doing and run to the baby.  You're doing it all day long, why shouldn't he have to do it when he's home?
And go out more often.  To hell with his cold shoulder.  Leave the baby with him & go to your mother's for coffee and a chat.  Go visit your girlfriends, in the middle of the week or while he's home on weekends.  He gets to leave and go do "grown up" things every time he goes to work.  While you're trapped in the house taking care of his kid, washing his laundry, cleaning his house, he gets to go out and bullshit with his coworkers, have lunches with the boss, do all the things that you never realized were so great until you had a baby and now couldn't do if you wanted to.  He thinks what he does is so hard & so important, he can try taking care of a baby for a day.  If he tries to say staying home is so easy, tell him fine, you'll go out & get a job to pay the bills and he can start staying home & taking care of the house and the baby.  Often times I find just a weekend alone with a baby can change even the most arrogant of man into an appreciative person.  I wish you a lot of luck and remember: without you, he'd be lost.

My husband is exactly the same - although he thinks if he goes to work all week it absolves him of any responsibility to house and baby when he gets home. He is going away for the weekend on a stupid boys trip and i'm going out to paint the town red! Funny when we look after the baby we're just at home apparently living it up having the easy life but when they are asked to do the same thing it's so hard and such a big deal.

I've come to realise that domesticity kills a relationship, you go from being a couple in love to being man and housekeeper... ! no thanks i would never get married again! Relationships yes, living together no way! : (

This is one big reason I refused to have children. Wish I had also refused to have gotten married.