Hot Head

Just for ha ha's I decided to test the heater in the house, and to my shock and awe, warm air actually started blowing. I was tickled pink realizing that I could heat our entire house by simply adjusting the thermostat. Mr. Ex had underestimated the power of our unit. I giggled realizing that although J-Fed would have to remain in one room to stay warm, I could walk through my house buck naked and not be affected by the icy temperatures outside.

In fact, I felt so confident in my heater that I decided to gift J-Fed with my brand new space heater. I dropped it off at his house and you would have thought he had just one the showcase showdown he was so over the moon. I felt like Santa Claus in January. And with a wrinkle of my nose, I returned to my home a couple of hours later.

Imagine my surprise when I arrived home to find our humble abode wasn't so toasty after all. I look at thermostat that shouted a cool 64 degrees. I ran for the phone and called J-Fed.

"I need the space heater back. Our heater isn't working," I demanded.

"No way," he told me.

"Come on, J-Fed. I don't feel well and I need the heater," I pleaded.

"Sorry. Gotta go," With that he hung up on me.

Really??? That SOB had not one but two space heaters -- one that belonged to me and one that belonged to my mom. And here I was layered up in three sweaters, jeans, two pairs of socks, a winter jacket and Snuggie. How could I have been so stupid? As angry as I was, I realized it couldn't stay cold forever. Of course, that didn't stop it from freezing for next three days.

We're going on like the ninth day of cold weather. I'm sick as a dog. I haven't been warm since I visited the nearby Catholic church four days ago. I keep waiting for the warmer weather come, yet it hasn't arrived.