Served

I got served yesterday with a motion to appear in court to enforce a child support order. I can’t say it caught me by surprise. I had seen a police officer’s card tucked into my deadbolt when I came home on a couple of occasions. I hadn’t paid child support since July of 2007. I know this sounds bad - It’s not something I’m proud of - but I’m not a deadbeat mom. I’ve just had some really hard times.

I’ve had knee problems since I was 11 years old. My knees dislocate and sublocate when I walk, stand, kneel, crouch, jump and sometimes when I sit. They used to do it only occasionally. Now they do it so frequently it feels like I’m walking on jello legs most of the time. I’ve had numerous surgeries to correct the problem but none of them are permanent. I’m supposed to keep going back for tune ups. Unfortunately with the severance of my marriage Mr. Perfect also severed my insurance. He had every right to, but it makes it difficult to take care of my knees.

Eventually my knees deteriorated and now my ankles are starting to dislocate as well so I quit working in July of 2007 and applied for disability. I stopped paying child support when I quit with the intention of resuming and paying the back child support when my disability case when through. Unfortunately my disability case was denied.

Meanwhile I was struggling for money. For a while I lived on credit cards running up tabs I knew I couldn’t pay, dodging bill collectors and running my good credit into the ground. Then my house was foreclosed on and I moved to Metropolis into Section 8 Housing in what can only be described as a ghetto.

Mr. Perfect griped and moaned about needing his $50 a month while he paid on his Harley Davidson, bought himself a new Chevy Cobalt, and moved into the pricey historic district of Metropolis. $50 a month for me would have meant the difference between eating or going hungry but for him it was just something to badger me about. My one consolation was that Mr. Perfect’s name was still on the mortgage of my house so when it was taken from me in foreclosure his good credit went down with it.

In November I re-filed for disability and enrolled in college. With the help of student loans I began to dig myself out of the hole. At long last I was able to put food on the table, a roof over our heads and clothes on our backs - but just barely. There was nothing leftover for child support.

Now to be completely honest, if I felt Bubba had really NEEDED that $50 a month I probably could have squeezed it out somewhere. Excitement went back to work in May and we lived off of his pay checks and used my student loans to pay back some credit cards instead of child support. Maybe that wasn’t the right choice, but it’s not like Perfect is hurting for money.

The truth of the matter is that I don’t think that Perfect deserves that $50 a month. He only has Bubba 4 more days a month than I do and it doesn’t take $50 to feed, clothe and shelter a child for 4 days. Heck, I can feed, clothe and shelter a family of 4 for $50 a week!

Perfect claims that he lives paycheck to paycheck but who’s fault is that? He could move to a cheaper apartment. He could trade in that sports car for an affordable family car or trade the Harley for a Honda. When I hit hard times my bike was the first thing to go and yes, it was like losing my right arm but I did it. A person in dire financial straights does not need two vehicles. Or here’s a really crazy idea - He could stop going out and partying 3 nights a week, save on babysitting expenses and spend some quality time with his son! Bubba is constantly complaining that he never gets to see his dad. Perfect works 5 days a week, his two days off are midweek while Bubba is in daycare, and when he doesn’t go out and paint the town red he still doesn’t pick Bubba up until 6:30 and then he puts him to bed at 8:00. Lots of quality time there... But I digress....

The motion I received threatens to send me to jail for 120 days or fine me $500 or both. The jail scares me a little. The fine not so much. They can’t take what I don’t have. I’m hoping when I explain my situation and provide evidence from my doctors and show proof that I paid child support when I was working that the judge will take mercy on me. If not, I may be spending the holidays behind bars.