Whether he's still, or in motion, what you see with The Crazy-Making Husband is thoroughly maddening -- for the picture teems with resentment, contempt and withdrawal. Not at all what a woman needs in her most intimate relationship.
Resentment, contempt and withdrawal not only wound us emotionally, in time, they have far-reaching physical health effects, as well.
Here's a vivid vignette. Recently, as I parked my car at the local wholefoods store, out strutted a man in his mid-fifties, appearing to be alone. He was carrying nothing. Then, twenty or so paces behind, a woman with a cane, having much trouble walking, appeared. In her 'free' hand was clutched a grocery bag. Her face was swollen, and totally reddened by rashes. Her eyes were stricken. Her Spirit, clearly desperate.
After a moment, I realized they are 'together'.
Right.
Far ahead of her, on he moved, his pace quick, to their car. Adjacent to mine, it was parked in a handicapped spot, and sported a handicapped sticker. With strong, swift motion, behind the steering wheel, in he stepped. The woman, whom I assume is his wife, was hurrying as best she could to reach the car. Just as she approached its rear, he turned on the motor, blowing exhaust all over her exposed, traumatized skin. Our eyes met. Her pain -- and shame -- streamed forth. My heart wrenched.
Around the car she hobbled, heavily leaning on her cane. Fervently, I prayed it would continue to support her.
Then, his ultimate insult: as she leaned on the cane and struggled to open the door -- her grocery parcel still clutched in her hand -- he ignored her. Instead, straight ahead he stared, impatiently tapping the steering wheel.
At last she was able to open the door. She tossed in the parcel. With great pain and difficulty, her left hand leaned on that precarious, blessed cane, as her right hand fumbled for something to grasp, to leverage her body into the car.