T.O.W. The Phone-y

So back to where we left off...

The Other Woman had invited J-Fed to a Bar Mitzvah where she and her boy toy (J-Fed) could eat, drink and be merry. So it was only fair that in return J-Fed bring Mrs. Robinson to daughter's dance recital. What's ironic is that while T.O.W. may be nine years older than J-Fed on paper, I believe that she acts about 20 years younger. Why do I say that? Let's fast track it to the dirty deets of the recital.

J-Fed and I each had four tickets to daughter's performance. I brought along Mr. Ex and my mom Kuku. However, J-Fed came up one ticket short. You see, he wanted to bring along his mom, his niece, his sister and The Other Woman. I wasn't going to use my extra ticket. Initially, I thought that I'd rather burn the ticket than let him give it to T.O.W. But then the devil got me -- and I realized it would be far more interesting to watch her squirm like an earthworm under a magnifying glass on a hot summer's day. So I offered him the ticket and the keys to the kingdom.

"Oh, J-Fed. You can have my extra ticket to bring T.O.W.," said St. Kiki.

"Really?" he said, making no effort to hide his shock and awe.

"Of course. I'm bringing Mr. Ex -- it's only fair you get to bring T.O.W.," I told him.

While he might have been impressed by my newfound maturity, it was all a guise. You see, while she might be uncomfortable being around me, I had no problem being around her. Yes, I had to physically restrain myself at times for going for her jugular, but for the most part, I got off on seeing her.

It was just like the old days when we were friends and all hanging out together -- only J-Fed was divorced from me and she was divorced from her husband. But really, it wasn't like that. They had just been "friends" all along. Yeah, and I can spray sunshine out of my ass if I hold my breath long enough.