What's grosser than gross? You're about to find out. I thought I had experienced it all as of late. Last week the baby took a crap in my hand while I was giving her a bath. The dog threw up a bar of Irish Spring. Zip the Cat brutally wiped out an unsuspecting lizard in one fair swipe, leaving his guts handing out. But oh no, this takes the cake.

A friend of mine has been kind enough to open her heart and her home to one of her significant other's siblings. The guy and her man may not be blood relatives, but they're close enough. Unfortunately, my Dear Friend, like most of us, has a low pain threshold when it comes to plain old nastiness, poor hygiene and well anything that might contribute to some kind of deadly bacterial disease.

Now said houseguest who will just call Clueless arrived on Dear Friend’s doorstep with cat in tow. An animal lover herself, dear friend couldn't turn him away. So she did what must of us would do, she placed a call to animal control. Kidding. She let Clueless and his kitty move in. Now Clueless decides that the guest bathroom would be a good place for the cat food and its litter box. Needless to say, Dear Friend was mortified. I mean, this was the "guest bathroom," and by guest, she meant humans, not felines. The last thing she wanted was for company to feel like they were invading kitty's privacy when they had to take a leak.

At first it wasn't that bad. But the scene quickly turned ugly as kitty drop its food all over the bathroom floor on a regular basis. Then kitty decided that the litter box is a fun place to play. He hops, skips and rolls in the dirty litter box. He then proceeds to climb all over the couch, the desk, the beds and well, the counter. As Dear Friend is preparing dinner the other day, she discovers that her brand new kitchen counters are lined with dirty kitty litter. So much for the ham and cheese sandwich she was about to sink her teeth into.

God only knows what she could contract.... worms, salmonella, the plague. As she becomes upset at the fecal matter at hand, Clueless believes Dear Friend’s overreacting. It’s just cat litter on the counter, jeez.

Oh well... Now Dear Friend was flat out disgusted, especially when Clueless refused to clean up the lingering litter. It didn't matter that his chicken parm might be sprinkled with whatever came out of his cat's ass. Hell, he was a pet lover.

Dear Friend pointed out the whole mess to her significant other, hoping he would back her up and say something to HIS sibling. But no such luck. Dear Friend was on her own. Deaf Friend’s significant other refused to get in the middle of the fracas. After all, the riff was between his girl and his brother. Even if HIS brother was wrong, wrong, wrong, Dear Friend was going to have to fight his battle on her own.

My advice to Dear Friend... Leave the litter on the counter. Eat your meals out of the house for a couple of weeks. And secretly hope they contract some sort of litter box illness. Hey, you reap what you sow.

Obviously nobody ever told them don't sh&t where you eat.