"$112.00 A Week! Are You Kidding Me?"

Today was a day of reckoning for Tweedle Dumb. It was Domestic Relations bliss. Tweedle Dumb thought he was going to steal the spotlight. Boy was he wrong. It was my day to shine. We handed the child support angel our forms and she, glowing halo and all, crunched the numbers. The choir erupted into song and the grand total was announced...$112.00 a week!

He was shocked! I thought I'd have to pick him up off the floor so he could write out his first check. I guess he and Tweedle Dee didn't plan on this happening in their Wonderland. Oops, I did it again! He might actually have to get a real big boy job. I took a quick moment of silence to mourn the thinning of his wallet, and got right back to business. That's when the tears began to flow. Thank God the Angel had state issued tissues on her desk! He certainly can't afford Kleenex now. He wanted to know why I was doing this to him and why I don't care about him anymore.

News flash folks, the way to show you care in 2007 is to cheat on your spouse, abandon your responsibilities, and begin an exciting life with a fellow homewrecker. I didn't want to leave you in the dark with my newfound revelation. I never met a poor person with a gym membership, a new tattoo, new clothes, a $1,700.00 beach house reservation, and a brand spanking new flat screen computer with all the bells and whistles.

I wish I was that poor. $112.00 a week will certainly put a dent in their refridgerator box. But he wasn't completely selfish. He voiced his concern that I was in my new relationship for the right reasons. Isn't he thoughtful! Now I know why I fell in love with him. The fun didn't stop there! He continued to call and text message me the rest of the afternoon. When he no longer appreciated my sense of humor he told me to stop calling him.