A Gay Old Time

"You're gay aren't you?" he asked his wife of nine years.

She stared at him in disbelief. Was he really asking her this? Could it be possible that the man who she promised to love, honor and obey really believed that she was a lesbian in straight clothing? At first, she was angry, but she quickly became amused.

She knew why he was accusing her of being gay. It was because they never had sex anymore. He couldn't understand why she didn't want to sleep with him. It's not like her lack of lust happened over night. It built up over time. The more he complained, the less she wanted him. The more he yelled, the less she liked him. After an evening of knock-down, drag-out fighting, the last thing she wanted was a roll in the hay... with him or anyone else.

Of course, he couldn't handle the fact that it could be something HE did. Oh no, it was much easier to believe that the reason she didn't want intercourse was because she liked other women. No, strike that. It was because she wanted to have sex with other women.

Until now, she had never really entertained the notion. But hell, at this point she'd rather have sex with a horse than sleep with that selfish, heartless, jerk. Suddenly, she had an idea. There was no longer a need for making excuses anymore. Forget headaches. Screw being tired. This was far better.  

She looked him dead in the eye and replied coldly, "yes, I've been meaning to tell you all of these years -- I'm gay."