A Trip on Denial

I admit it; I’m a wimp.  I hate tension, arguing and the sort of drama you see on Jerry Springer.  To avoid it, I will give in and often apologize for things despite feeling as though I’m the person who was wronged.  Around my house, it seems to be the only way for things to move on.  I apologize for everything that happened, Mr. Hyde ‘forgives me’ and is back to normal.

I’m sure this has just encouraged Mr. Hyde’s denial in taking responsibility for his own actions, but the alternative is days, or even weeks of Mr. Hyde stomping around the house, pissed off at everyone and jumping down our throats for even looking in his direction.  

When he stormed out of counseling swearing I was a total psycho and he was just wasting his time by bothering to speak to me, I naturally assumed he was not coming on the trip to visit my family.  My sister called mid-argument while I was waiting in the parking lot after counseling for Mr. Hyde to come back and pick me up after abandoning me there to go eat some fast food.  I told her Mr. Hyde would probably not be coming with me for the holidays and said I would explain later.

He screamed at me the rest of the evening, while I first tried to defend myself before finally giving up and just listening while he spewed garbage.  He told me how he always tried and I never did, how I never did anything nice for him, blah, blah, blah. Same old crap.

When we got home that night, my throat was sore and I felt awful.  I went through a whole box of tissues and hardly slept at all.  Mr. Hyde of course dropped to sleep with no problem, obliviously snoring his way through the night and sleeping with a clear conscience.