An Open Letter to Your Husbands

I've been reading the bitchin' boards and it's great to see that women have been finding their way to the site and finding some comfort in shared experience. We've all been there so we know what you're going through.  The good news is, you will survive a failed relationship.  And chances are you'll come out the other side, happier and stronger than you ever imagined.

But I'm sad to read your stories.  It's really frustrating to see all the neglect and abuse...and confusion.  Confusion about what marriage is supposed to be.  So I thought I'd clarify.

Marriage is about two people who dig each other right down to a cellular level.  You can't wait to come home to your spouse and spend time with them. Just thinking about that person should make you smile...You shouldn't be wishing that person were:

1. Abducted by aliens and routinely subjected to an anal probe, never to return.

2. Vaporized by a fiery meteor

3. Accidentally dissolved in a vat of sulfuric acid at the plant.

Marriage is about celebrating, respecting and taking care of each other. You're not your husband's second mom or nanny or personal maid.  You're his wife.  The duties and perks are way different.

Marriage is a supportive, happy place to raise kids.  It's your haven from an otherwise frustrating crazy world.  No one should feel lonelier in a marriage.

For the record, a good marriage is not neglectful or abusive.  Your spouse shouldn't be regularly caustic or mean.  You are not his personal punching bag or punchline.

You shouldn't be doing all the work, making all the money, doing all the child rearing while your husband does any of the following:

1. Lays around the house drinking beer all day.