Are you a doormat?
Do I Need To Slap You?
I was just reading the post by Anony Miss about her birthday, and I was thinking yeah, that really sucks.
It really sucks that she lets him get away with that kind of crap. What she really needed to buy herself for her birthday was a new doormat, so she could stop being one.
I mean, fergawdsakes. Girls, what ARE we thinking in relationships? Have we learned NOTHING in the past thirty or forty years about our own emancipation and our own right to define and control our own lives?
We still let husbands lay down the law? We still need to get their permission to do stuff? What are we, chattel?
If you want to answer me by saying, “Well, he WON’T do this…” or “I CAN’T get him to do that…” then I must ask you, “Why oh why are you married to him?”
If you say it’s because you “love him” I don’t really understand what it is you’re loving. I mean, he must be one helluva champ in the sack for you to put up with him the other 20-some-odd hours in the day.
If it’s because you need him economically or because of the children, that’s a decision, a trade-off you are making. I always say everything in life is a trade-off. On the one hand you have this, on the other hand you don’t have that.
Only you can decide what you’re willing to give up and trade off. But it’s still a decision you make. And once you’ve made that decision, and decide you’re going to give up the freedom or affection or whatever it is because you’ve decided it’s better to stay together, you effectively give up your moaning rights.
Complaining may make you feel a little better, but it’s not going to change a thing about him or you or your relationship. The only thing that affects change is a change in behavior. And every time you let his behavior continue, when there’s no “what” at the end of “or else,” you enable the future behavior.
I am certain you are all better mothers than I am (considering I’m not actually a mother). You all know that if you tell your child not to do something, and there is no consequence if your child DOES do it, he or she will do it over and over again. It’s the same with criminals. It’s the same with despotic leaders of other countries. And it’s absolutely the same with husbands.
Stop letting him walk all over you. And if you can’t stop that, walk out.
Someone wiping their shoes on you? Email me.
