Be Glad It's Over
Do I Need To Slap You?
When relationships start to ever-so-slightly crumble around the edges, it's pretty easy to ignore it, convince yourself it's just a blip and hold back the tears. But when great chunks of relationship break off and muddy up the milk, or worse yet, spill it all over the counter, it's time to cry.
And I'm talking about tears of joy.
Being in a healthy, balanced, committed relationship is one of life’s most fulfilling experiences. Being in a relationship which is not, is torture.
It’s sad that the relationship can’t provide the happiness and fulfillment we were looking for when we entered into it. It’s sad that once we’re in a broken relationship we’re not able to fix it – especially when the relationship involves children.
But when you’re finally able to break free from a relationship that was causing you stress, pain and heartache, sapping the very essence of your life’s energy out of you, it’s not sad, it’s GREAT! It’s like someone has stopped hitting your head with a hammer. The blisters on your feet have disappeared. The ten thousand pound weight is off your shoulders. But sad? Are you kidding?
Actually, I’ll tell you why we grieve when a relationship ends, what really makes us sad. We’re mourning the loss of the DREAM. The dream of happily ever after, endless passionate love during which no one ever makes a squelchy sound, self-fulfillment, feeling beautiful or handsome, and 2.1 adorable kids.
The dream makes us stay in relationships that are way past their sell-by date. It’s the dream that got us into the relationship in the first place. It’s the dream that makes one perfect evening surrounded by three frustrating weeks seem like a guarantee of eternal bliss.
But it’s not the reality. The reality, in reality, sucked. The reality was no communication, no honesty, and no give and take. The reality was infidelity, incompatibility and dissatisfaction. And you’re sad to give that up? I don’t think so.
When it’s time to end a relationship, you must remind yourself over and over that it’s ending because of the cold, hard reality. It’s sad your dream is gone, but it never came true in the first place. Let it go. Forgive yourself for making mistakes. And then move on.
But don’t forget what it’s like to see the difference between the dream and the reality. Because you’ll definitely need that skill when the next relationship comes along.
