Changing The Dynamics

For years, J-Fed had me convinced I was the bad guy.

"You're going to die alone," he used to tell me. I can't count the number of times that he
accused me of being unbearable to live with. Maybe I was. There's a very good possibility
I was a raging bitch when we were together. But to be fair, someone helped me get there... and we all know who that special someone is.

J-Fed's accusuations do have some truth to them. I wasn't a very nice person. However, the
circumstances surrounding our crumbling marriage weren't very nice. After the divorce I gave what J-Fed said a lot of thought. Suppose he was right. Suppose "I" was the cause of all of our problems? Was it really possible?

But then I rememebered how he'd spend $200 a week on go-cart tires, get drunk and pee in our armoire and disappear to the local watering hole and I threw everything he said
out the window. This was a man who pissed in our furniture. Whether it was an accident or not, why should I really take any stock in how he felt about me as a person?

There was always a 50/50 shot that he could've been right. J-Fed's theory was put to the test when I met Mr. Ex. When the two of us first met, it was because he'd moved into the house across the street from my parents. As we shook hands, it's not like I realized he was going to be my future partner in crime. So he saw me as I was. And every time that we chatted after that, I was still myself. I made no attempt to hide the fact that I had a bad temper, I was disorganized as hell and in my personal life, I didn't take many things seriously.

Life was way too short. In fact, I repeatedly pointed these shortcomings out to him. No need for false advertising -- it only delays the inevitable anyways.