Chaos Reigns

I invited my friend over for a nice dinner and by the time she left, I’m sure she wanted to divorce me… even though we aren’t even married. Ok, maybe she didn’t want to divorce me, but I’m sure she left Basketcaseville thinking “better her than me.”

Now said friend is older and far wiser than myself. While I have some friends who lead parallel lives to me, she is not one of them. In fact, we’re polar opposites. She’s footloose and fancy free, adventurous, spontaneous and stress-free (most of the time). No kids, no pets, no problem. She scuba dives, travels the world and belly dances for fun. I, on the other hand, have irrational fears of flying, shark attacks and revealing any part of my navel in public. Despite our vast differences, we still manage to find some common ground. However, that may have all changed after our dinner.

My good friend arrived at the house during the final stretch of unhappy hour. When she pulled up into the driveway I rushed her inside where she was greeted by mouthwatering aroma of seared lamb chops, artichoke and tomato medley and sautéed potatoes and yellow peppers. Of course, my struggle had already begun as I could no longer work the oven with the baby in tow.

So I held out the baby to her. At first she looked at me as if I had just passed her a crack pipe. The “just say no to kids” mentality was all there in her eyes. In fact, I almost expected her to pass the baby back and dart out the front door. But like a true friend, she held her… kind of. While my friend could hunt down a lobster with the best of them, she appeared to have no knowledge of the skill required to hold the baby. After watching her wiggle in discomfort for about five minutes, my friend, not the baby, I assumed the controls and whisked baby off to bed, praying that the food didn’t burn in the process.