Closing The Door

I used to think she was a bitch, but now I’d gladly trade places with her.  I’d love for Mr. Hyde to have an affair with her, giving me a chance to make a graceful exit.  They are both childish and petty, fighting with all the drama of teenagers. They are both opinionated pessimists who have trouble seeing any good in the world or other people outside of themselves.  They are both ABSOLUTELY RIGHT about everything with no possibility of anyone else having another correct answer.  

Maybe I really was the reason for the divorce because they are so obviously perfect for each other.  That’s right... I’m talking about Mr. Hyde’s ex.  She comes and goes as she pleases now without having to answer to anyone at home.  She doesn’t have to be afraid to tell Mr. Hyde about a pair or shoes she bought because she’ll have to justify the purchase even though her old ones had holes or didn’t fit anymore.  She smiles a lot more now, laughs freely and seems so much more relaxed now that she’s on her own.

It could all be an act for my benefit, but I can’t help but wonder -- maybe she really is happier without Mr. Hyde.  Watching her with the in laws and Mr. Hyde at the concert, I felt like a fifth wheel; an outsider.  And you know what?  It didn’t bother me.  I didn’t feel any stabs of jealousy or betrayal. I didn’t hate her or resent Mr. Hyde for not including me.  I thought to myself “If I just slipped away, would anyone notice?” 

And if they did, would I care?  The scary answer to both questions was "no."

I feel numb to it all and that’s how I know we’re in trouble.