Cruel & Kind

Muffy Gibson, the author of The Crazy-Making Husband blog, suggested we write a list of things our husbands/partners do that are cruel.

I think that’s a great idea! I’m all for catharsis and driving out the bad while hoping for some good. In my case, I’m going to do write a list of cruel things my ex did, followed by a list of kind things my current husband does.  First, my Ex Husband Cruel List:

1. My ex said he would sell my old car before I bought a new one. The car was pretty beat up, but he sold it for $1,000.00. He then spent all of that money on his bills. I never saw a dime.

2. I had pneumonia and was violently ill. I begged the ex to come home to help out with our son, and he said he’d be home in a few hours because he was out to dinner with his best friend… for the third night in a row. When he came home seven hours later, he said I was a bitch and I was exaggerating my illness.

3. He would spend his money on golf, dinner and movies, but there was never enough for bills and groceries. This was a man who made a very good salary. I also worked full-time, but my money was expected to go toward the fun things – the mortgage, electricity bill, etc.

4. He always said he’d bring the garbage to the curb when I had problems with my back (several hundred yards to the curb on a steep incline). He’d forget, then say he’d bring it to the dump the next day. Then he’d “forget” again. When I dared to ask him about it, I was a bitch.

5. He used to leave piles of papers on every surface of the house – tables, counters, couches, the floor, the bathroom. If I moved any of it, he called me a bitch. If I asked him to take care of his papers, he’d call me a bitch again.