Daddy's Girl
The Ex Files
I found out last night that this summer, my twelve-year-old daughter wants to spend 5 days of out 7 with my EX. She said she doesn’t want to hurt my feelings, but this is what she wants. My EX is a school teacher and doesn’t work during the summer. At least he hasn't since we separated and divorced. I don’t know if he’s been telling her that they can do all sorts of fun things during the day, but in her mind this makes perfect sense.
Sadly, it did hurt my feelings. I felt like I was kicked in the stomach. It brought up all those summers that my EX and my daughter would go off on vacation while I had to stay home and work. In her plan, she wants to spend every weekend with me, but that’s not going to happen. I need some weekends to myself. I’m very close to just letting him have her the entire summer. She and I were supposed to go to New York for a week but I’m going to cancel that now. I’m sure she expects to spend weekdays going to the beach with my EX and weekends shopping with me, but that’s not going to happen either.
I could put my foot down and insist that she spend evenings with me and days with him, but, what’s the point? Whether it’s a husband or a daughter, you can’t make someone want to be with you. I think I could use the break. I haven’t had a vacation to myself in years. I’m a little burnt out from the divorce, the moving, the new jobs. I think she should experience what it’s like to spend so much time with her dad. It’s not like we had any big fights or blow ups. She just wants what she wants. And the reality is, I don’t really have that much time left with her. In 7-8 years, she’ll have her own life and probably her own place. The divorce has caused her to separate from me earlier than she would have. Maybe it’s an opportunity for me to concentrate on finding a relationship and having some of my own life back. But my life sure hasn’t turned out the way I thought it would. Not by a long shot…
