Oops! He did it again. I don’t know why I continue to ask J-Fed to do things. It’s pointless. Even if he does agree to do them, he does them half ass, one of my ongoing criticisms when I was married to him.
I just wanted him to wash the hounds. They deserved it. Once the question rolled out of my mouth, I knew I had made a mistake.
“I didn’t realize you retired from dogwashing,” J-Fed said sarcastically.
Dude, I have two kids and two dogs. I feed them. I love them. I let them out to poop. How much would it really hurt you to give your dogs a little TLC? Seriously. I mean, it’s not like I can wash a 70-pound and a 90-pound dog while taking care of a 5-year-old and a sick infant dufus. And then I went there…
“Listen, who do you think feeds them every day and every night?” I retorted.
“Your mom and our daughter,” he shot back. No, no, no… Here we go again. J-Fed, I run this house. Although I may not do every little thing, I do all that is humanly possible. J-Fed would have most people believing that I barely get out of bed, and for half the day, that’s true. Because I work on a laptop in my bed. Yes, when I’m typing all day, that’s what I’m doing. I’m earning a friggin paycheck to keep a roof over the heads of children and dogs alike.
It was an exercise in futility trying to defend myself so I quit while I was ahead. Then he gave me another zinger about how it had to be done when I wanted it done. No J-Fed. I asked you a week ago to do it… and you still haven’t done it. Now, I’m asking you a week later. I think I gave you plenty of notice. And honestly, what the hell better do you have to do?
Here’s the kicker. Apparently, he did have something better to do. You see, he washed the dogs in five minutes flat. In fact, he didn’t bother to take off their expensive leather collars. I’m sure he was pissed. I mean come on. J-Fed would you leave your clothes on when taking a shower. No, you wouldn’t. Well, I guess if you were drunk enough you might. But the dogs aren’t drunk and neither are you.