Egging Me On

The accusations are flying like eggs.

The latest word according to J-Fed is that someone egged the other woman's (T.O.W's) car. Mitigating circumstances have fingers being pointed in my direction. First and foremost, there's the fact that she and my ex-husband have run off into the sunset, leaving me feeling a bit resentful. And then there's the fact that she lives just two doors down. Needless to say, the accusations shouldn't come as much of a surprise to anybody, well except for those who have a brain and know me far better than that.

Really and truly, don't you think I have better things to do with my eggs, like feeding them to my kids every morning? And if I were going to egg anything, wouldn't it be her and not her car? Just stating the obvious. I only found out about the alleged egging when J-Fed came right out and asked me about it. This was a few days before the great Christmas debacle. I guess I had been too quiet for my own good.

As we stood in my parent's yard, doing the kiddie hand-off, he stared at me point blank and said, "Kiki, did you egg T.O.W's car?" To which I responded, "J-Fed, did you sleep with T.O.W. while we were married?" More than likely, both of us would respond no, but only one of us would be lying. Can you guess which one? The one with no balls. Oh wait, that's both of us. Ok, I didn't ask him if he had shagged T.O.W.

Instead I burst out laughing at the mere notion that someone else despises her more than I do. You see, although I detest her, I wouldn't egg her car. And that's exactly what I explained to J-Fed.

"You're kidding right? Um, I didn't egg her car," I told him. A wicked smile crossed his face as he began toying with me.

"You did didn't you? Damn," he laughed.