Though my book [THE CRAZY-MAKING HUSBAND] is funny, life with a Crazy-Making Husband isn't funny at all.
Quick definition, 'Crazy-Making': thinking, feeling and behavior designed to drive you mad.
And what better way to drive you nuts, than barrage you with excuses? In fact, that's The Crazy-Making Husband's RULE #2: ALWAYS HAVE HANDY AN IMPRESSIVE ARRAY OF EXCUSES.
Your husband's barrage of excuses has the same objective as brainwashing: to 'break' you. Bent on convincing you that your reaction to his bad behavior is invalid and unfair, vigorously and relentlessly he hurls one excuse after another, until he just plain wears you out.
As if this weren't enough to endure, embedded in his excuses are outrageous demands: [1] you must totally accept his failing to do what he was supposed to do [2] you must totally forgive him, and [3] you must totally relinquish your expectations of him. Meet these three demands, he maintains, and he won't have to resort to excuses!
Sadly, the more your Crazy-Making Husband deploys excuses, the better he gets at it. The more strategic. The more hurtful.
What can we wives do, to protect our selves from the fallout of THE CRAZY-MAKING HUSBAND'S RULE #2?
Typical Strategic Moves of beleaguered wives are:
Strategic Move 1: We continue to confront him when he continues to fail to do what he promised -- and continue to be subjected to aching disappointment, frustration and humiliation. Our Underlying Assumption: He'll 'see the light' and abandon the folly of his ways.
Strategic Move 2: We cease all expectations -- and have a marriage where reliability is non-existent, and utter loneness is assured. Our Underlying Assumption: If confrontations cease, we'll have the energy to do everything ourselves, and not have to rely on him.