Ghost of Christmas Past
The Ex Files
My daughter tries to pretend that everything's ok, but deep down she's troubled by the divorce.The other day, she did something amazing. She confessed how she felt.
We were driving in the car when she said in low voice, "I miss our old house for Christmas."
She said it so softly, if I'd had the radio on, I would have missed it. Thankfully I heard it, although my heart just sank. Our former home was a wonderful place to celebrate the holidays. Big fireplace, beautiful windows with a mountain view, plenty of room for a good-size tree. For nine years, she celebrated every Christmas there. "I miss it, too," I said. And I do. I'm still pissed about having to move from there.
"I don't want to go to Grandma's, either" she added angrily. "And Dad's place is too small."
She's right about that. Her dad's place is about as roomy as a shoebox. While secretly I'm thrilled he's living the sardine lifestyle, I'm not pleased she's depressed. I tried to reassure her. "Try not to worry" I said. "I'm sure you'll have a good time opening presents with your cousin and your dad's family."
The next day she and I went out and got our tree. When we came home, I had to move our furniture around a bit to make room for it, and she proceeded to melt down - big time. She was trying to help, but the furniture wasn't fitting the way she wanted and she got impatient with it. Then she just started spewing frustration. "I hate how this place looks," she yelled. "It's ugly. I hate being in an ugly place." And she got physically belligerant with me in the hallway, blocking my way when I tried to go into my room.
What you have to understand is, our new place isn't ugly at all. In fact, it's rather cute. And the way I've decorated it for Christmas, it looks like Martha Stewart popped in and gave me a hand. To hear my daughter's anxiety escalate like some premenstrual syndrome on steroids, really bummed me out. I knew she was still upset over not being in our home.
