Ghosts of New Years Past
Mrs. Hyde Speaks Up
New Year, fresh start. On New Years Eve, I reflect back on the past year, and resolve to be a better person…or at least do things differently.
My marriages have been victims of this fresh start mentality. Cleaning up after drunken husbands, apologizing for their behavior or just dealing with their ‘issues’ makes me think, “do I really want to deal with this behavior for the rest of my life?” Everyone has a bad day, and I’m not perfect either, but I’m talking about the overall feeling from your partner. When I reflect back on the year and find more bad than good, or our future years stretched out in front of me scares the crap out of me, or I have become someone I don’t know to try to make them happy, then it’s time for a fresh start.
Last year was full of changes…I left Mr. Hyde at the beginning of it and I’ve been rebuilding my life. I’m happier now than I’ve been in a long while. I have a new life, new job, new home and new friends. I haven’t thrown out everything old…since being home; I’ve reconnected with old friends, family, places and things.
I spent this New Years Eve in my new place, with friends and family. I resolve to live on my terms this year. My divorce should be final shortly and I’m anxious to reclaim my maiden name. My focus is on my kids and making a stable, secure home for them. I have no man by choice. I won’t risk bringing anyone unstable into my kids’ or my life. I won’t compromise who I am for anyone.
In the future, someone may make it past my year-end review into the New Year with me, but for now, I’m happy with a complication-free fresh start.
