Hail To The Chief

Hi, I'm "The Blue Jeans Guy", and I was married to "The Pres" for eleven years.  I call myself "The Blue Jeans Guy" because I am admittedly an aficionado of the casual life style.  I prefer blue jeans over slacks, beer over wine, and Timex over Rolex.  That's not to say I don't appreciate the finer things in life, I just don't feel they are a requirement for my happiness.  I call my former wife "The Pres" (short for "The President") for a couple of reasons. 

First, like many presidents, she seemed to have a congenital inability to admit that anything she ever did may have been ethically or morally wrong.  Even the suggestion of inappropriate behavior on her part usually brought about a flurry of defensive behavior if not outright threats.  Second, she felt the need to be in one hundred percent control at all times.  Her motto; "My way is the only way, you idiot!"

I knew our marriage was on the way out about a year ago when in the middle of an argument I heard the Pres utter a phrase that to this day I do not fully understand, and I'm the one with the friggin psychology degree.  "I will always love you, but I not sure I'm in love with you anymore."

 See, to me, love is like rain, either it's raining or it's not.  I realize that this analogy leaves room for one to interpret that varying degrees of love may exist.  Perhaps a driving rain is the strongest of loves, and a mere drizzle is weak or dying love.  Therefore, if she had said, "I don't love you enough to stay with you." I would have at least understood what the hell she meant. 

How does one love someone without being in love?  It's like saying "It's raining somewhere, just not where I am."  A casual observer might even be lead to the conclusion that it isn't raining, which leads me to the conclusion that in some oxy moronic way, the statement "I love you, but I'm not in love with you." really means "I don't love you."