Happy Birthday, Innocent

"You know you missed Innocent’s birthday," Nonnie told me as I was walking out the door.

"When was it?" I asked.

"Sunday. Excitement should call and wish her ha happy birthday. She turned 14."

Nonnie, Excitement and I have been scheming to put Excitement back in touch with his kids from his first marriage. It’s been 12 years since he’s seen them in person and 4 years since he’s had a conversation with them that didn’t involve them damning him to hell.

We began by making Excitement a Myspace page and having him e-mail all 5 of the kids. They didn’t respond but their mother, Miss Vicious, wrote back telling him in no kind terms to leave her kids alone. Still, we left his page up and periodically he posts happy birthday and happy holiday messages to them on his main page. But this time we missed a birthday. He had to make amends.

That night he dialed Miss Vicious’ phone number. It was answered by his middle son, Adventure. When he recognized his father’s voice he began to practice his vocabulary of expletives.

"I know you hate me and that’s ok," Excitement said. "I love you anyway. Can I talk to Innocent? I want to wish her a happy birthday."

Instead Vicious got one the phone. The conversation was short and explosive. She reminded him how he had abandoned his family. He reminded her that they had asked him to go away. She denied it.

After a few moments Excitement said "I didn’t call to fight. I thought after 13 years we could just talk but I see that you are still too angry. Just tell the kids I love them and tell Innocent happy birthday."

When he hung up there were tears in his eyes. "I don’t want to do this anymore." he told me. "Please, just leave it alone. When they want to find me they know where I am. I’ll even let them kick my ass. I deserve it. I won’t even swing back when they hit me. I’ll just stand there and take my licks but I can’t do this anymore. I can’t keep brining my old family into my new one. It’s too hard."