I hope you die...
Those are J-Fed's favorite new four words. And he used them on me just a couple of days ago, along with calling me the dreadful "C" word. And just when I thought things couldn't get any worse, they were continuing to.
It's not like I cared that he wished I were dead. Really. If he thought long and hard, he would have realized it behooved him to have me alive. You see if I were rotting six feet under, all of this would be his. All of it.
Two kids. Two dogs. And a boatload of responsibilities. Honey, you wish I were dead right now. But if you were in my shoes you'd be wishing you were dead. Forget walking a mile in my Addidas -- you wouldn't even have the laces tied before throwing in the towel.
Ok, so yeah I had heard this all before. But man it was getting old. After two days of basic silence, I was forced to call him regarding a medical issue with daughter. I gave him the basic rundown on her current condition. However, before I had the opportunity to hang up, J-Fed started spinning his wheels.
"Look. I don't want to fight anymore. I want us to be friends. I really think we can be," he said matter-of-factly.
Really J-Fed. You think we can be friends? I think there is a better chance of Britney Spears being elected the next president, of me winning the lottery, of the Pope converting to Scientology and of the cattle industry deciding the whole world should go vegetarian.
"I don't think we can. Sorry," I snapped back.
"Look I want us to be friends. I know it's because you think T.O.W.(The Other Woman) and I are together. And I've told you we're not. I'm not lying. You know me better than that. Come on," he said unconvincingly.
You're right J-Fed. I do know you, which is why I know you're lying. You can deny, deny, deny until you're purple in the face. But we both know the truth, the lies and whatever sits somewhere in between. If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, it's a friggin' duck.