How To Be A Slob 101

If there were a class called How to Be a Slob 101, my ex husband would have been the professor. The man must have a Ph.D. in Slovenliness. I believe his course syllabus would look like this:

Week 1: Basic Techniques in Slovenliness

During this week, class, we shall learn how to engage in mildly annoying slob-type behaviors. We will cover how to:

• Leave food crumbs all over every surface.
• Leave worn underwear in a variety of locations (such as on the bathroom floor, bedroom floor, even the kitchen floor).
• Make sure you leave a least 8 cans of empty diet soda strewn throughout the house each evening

Week 2: Intermediate Techniques in Slovenliness

This week, we will move on to more advanced topics, including:

• Leaving chicken bones on the back seat of your car for a week.
• "Forgetting" to do your laundry for several weeks so you must pull dirty clothing out of the hamper to wear.
• How to leave piles and piles of paper on every surface imaginable.
• Leaving no less than one entire newspaper and three magazines strewn all over the bathroom floor each and every morning.