How to play with your married girlfriends.
The Ex Files
You know, I was thinking, we’re all in this same crappy boat called DIVORCE, so we might as well have some fun with it.
And I can’t think of more deserving group than our married girlfriends. You think they’re going to be there for you, but you’ve probably noticed that divorce just seems to unnerve them. They’re not only deathly afraid of “catching it”. They’ve also begun to view you as a rival. Here are some suggestions to drive them crazy.
When your married girlfriends complain that their husbands:
a. Are Ignoring them.
b. Won’t give them money
c. Are always watching sports
d. Are flirting with someone else
Say very sincerely, “Wow, that’s just how my husband was acting right before we got divorced.”
Laugh at every single stupid joke your married friend’s husband says and then within her earshot say, “Gee (Name) that’s so funny! I sure hope your wife appreciates your sense of humor…”
If your married galfriend tries to show off something she just got - jewelry, car, camera, house -
Say very sweetly, “Wow, that’s so cool! Is it in your name only?”
When your friends start to complain that their husbands won’t let them:
a. Buy anything.
b. Go anywhere.
c. Do anything.
Cut them off with a laugh and say, “Boy am I glad I don’t have to put up with that CRAP anymore.” And then immediately change the subject.
If they patronize you because you’re now single, brag about all the great new sex you’re having. (And good for you if you are!) Don’t skimp on the details. “Oh my God. We went at it like crazed goats all night long! He made sure that I had the most exquisite orgasm. I can barely walk.”
And finally, tell them it must be lovely to have a husband that doesn’t care how much weight they gain. Have fun! If you have any other ideas, please contribute…
