"I Am Better Than You!"

Everything my ex-husband did screamed, “I am better than you!” As a matter of fact, he even had a laundry list of reasons why he was better than me.  His actions and words showed that’s how he felt, and probably still feels.

First, the ex always criticized my job. I made sure his was top priority for many years. While he spent evenings and weekends out, “making contacts,” I stayed home, caring for the house and our son. If our son was sick, I took the day off. If he needed to do to the dentist or the doctor, I did it. Eventually, dear old ex started to make a good living. At his job, he had a lot of freedom. He could go in late, leave early, take extended lunches, etc.

My job was quite different. We had to be in and logged in to our computer on-time every day. Our lunches were exactly 45 minutes long. He just could not comprehend this. “Ha! It’s like you work in a grocery store,” he taunted. “You should get a job like mine,” he said smugly.

Second, the ex LOVED to compare that he had SO many more friends than I did. On various random weeknights, usually at about 9:30 when I was completely exhausted, he’d say, “Why don’t you go see a move with a friend?” I would answer, “Who am I supposed to see a movie with on a weeknight after 10???” His response was, “Oh, never mind. I forgot. You don’t really have anyone to go with anyway.”

Third, the man absolutely loved it when he showed up home hours and hours late, or not at all. I honestly think he felt this was an awesome display of power. “Heee heeee…I don’t even have to show up home on time. I don’t even have to come home if I don’t feel like it!” No, he didn’t actually say that, but his actions were clear. “I am so amazing and superior, I don’t have to call you if I’m not going to show up home.”