“I keep getting rejected,” I whined.
“Let me see the photo you posted,” JoeSchmuck replied.
I prepared myself for the verbal lashing. I knew it was going to be painful. As one of my oldest friends, he was going to tell it like it was.
“That doesn’t even look like you. Seriously,” he said.
“Yes it does,” I said.
“No, it doesn’t,” he said.
Then came the team huddle. We put our heads together and he gave me the game plan. I was going to take 100 pictures… no more, no less. Then, I was going to send them all to him.
“You need to show more of your body. You have a good figure so make sure you get some of those shots,” he instructed me.
“Oh geez,” I sighed. If he asked me for naked ones, I knew he had an agenda… and that agenda likely included him selling my photos on some XXX website. But he didn’t go there. He simply repeated the number 100. I sat there frustrated. I guess JoeSchmuck assumed that out of 100 pictures at least one of them had to slightly resemble me.
I went on to complain about how wounded I felt as a result of these online dating rejections. I mean, it was his idea for me to get back out there in the dating game. The least he could do was provide me some sort of moral support.
“The problem is a lot of these guys are on here to get laid,” he explained. “And sure, you’re out to get laid… just not by any of these guys.”
I’m not quite sure if that was a dig or a compliment. You see, on one hand, he could have been implying that the only person I wanted to sleep with was J-Fed. On the other hand, he could have been implying that my standards were higher than wanting to be seduced by some random player. I gave him the benefit of the doubt and let it go. After all, I didn’t want to chase all of the men out of my life.