Is Divorce Ever Over?

In one of my more philosophical moods yesterday, I asked myself, “Is a divorce really ever over?” I think it’s easy to talk about disengagement, ignoring your ex, shutting him out of your life, etc.

If you don’t have children, this is entirely possible. But when you DO have kids together, it is far more complicated to disentangle your lives. You can go on to live new lives, marry new partners, have new children, even move away.  Will the divorce end when your children move out of the house?

There’s middle school and high school graduation to think about. I know that my ex and I will visit our son at college. He’ll come home during holidays and spend time at each home. When he gets married, we’ll smile and pose for pictures. When he has children, we’ll want to be there to welcome them.

Many of these things can be done on separate schedules, but some of them will inevitably bring us together in the same place, at the same time.  By the time most of these events occur, everyone will have had ample time to heal. We’ll have long since moved on with our lives. The legal act of divorce will be well over a decade old. But, as long as both of us stay involved in our son’s life (and I know we will) we’ll always have some type of relationship, no matter how distant.

So yes, the marriage is over, the divorce is finished, but a partnership, no matter how small, remains.