Miss Ogamy and the Men
It’s finished. After spending half an hour in therapy discussing the pros and cons of keeping my ex-boyfriend as a friend, we concluded that I needed to break it off with him. He was getting the wrong idea. I was wasting time e-mailing him when I could have been studying or chatting with other friends, friends that were good for me. Even worse, I was using this “friendship” as a replacement for our relationship so that I didn’t have to go through the pain of the breakup and learn how to move on. Not healthy.
So I wrote the e-mail, clicked sent and blocked him from my MySpace account. I felt much better already! Then my phone began ringing. At 11 at night, there was only one person it could be. I let it go to voicemail.
When I listened to the message, Excitement’s voice seemed to boom from the phone.
“You’re so chicken! Is this because I went out with another girl? Jeeze, grow up, Ogamy! You tell me to move on then you get all pissy when I do? You think I want you back? I don’t! I just wanted to talk to you. I love you. You’re important to me. You always will be. Don’t end it like this. At least have the decency to call me and tell me in person! You say I have problems? You’re the mental one! Call me back.”
I debated about it long and hard. I reasoned that calling him would circumvent him calling me all night long and waking up everyone in the house. Still, as I dialed his number I knew I was calling because I wanted to call. I was calling because I still care about him and because I’m not over him yet.
We talked for about 20 minutes. He did most of the talking. He said he was sorry for all he had done to me. He asked me if I wanted to apologize. I told him I didn’t feel I did anything to apologize for. He asked me if I was really still angry with him. My silence said more than my words could have. He knew just how angry I am. He said he never meant to hurt me. I told him I needed to get on with my life. He asked if I could get on with my life with him in it. I told him I couldn’t. He agreed to leave me alone and let me live.