It's OK to be Selfish.

As wives and moms, we're trained to always put the husbands or the kids first.

If you've been through a divorce or contemplating it, it's time to start putting yourself first.

Give yourself time to grieve about the loss, but don't waste time not doing what you've always wanted to do. There are no limitations to your life.

Take those classes you've been putting off.  I took some great writing classes.  But there's no end to the kind of classses you could take and it's a great way to branch out and meet new people that aren't all caught up in your current drama. 

Get out there and see the world.  Travel has a way of giving your situation some distance and some perspective.  When you see something grand like the Grand Canyon or the Coliseum in Rome, you realize the scope of our existence and how fleeting time is and you won't want to spend too much more time lamenting what a shit your EX was.   You'll want to get on with your life and enjoy more beauty and more experience.

Get some therapeutic massage.  Especially if you've been feeling isolated.  Join a gym or take yoga or tai chi.  This is a good time to get healthy and reach your physical potential.  It's also a great way to destress.

Get a new bed.  It's not his bed anymore.  It's your bed.  Take ownership of it.  And only the people who are really good to you get to share it.  You'll be surprised what a new mattress and bedspread can mean to your self esteem.  While you're at it, redecorate the whole bedroom.  Have it reflect who you are, not what you were.

Buy yourself some new clothes.  You're not that schlub married to that putz, you're a different woman now.  Be who you always wanted to be.  Nobody can stop you now.  You can't use your husband or your family as an excuse anymore. The world is your oyster, and it's time to slurp it up.