Knowing who your friends are
The Ex Files
Over the holidays I went to a friend's house for a birthday party. It's a little freaky going solo to parties, but I made myself do it. It's one of those wonderful things that we divorcees have to cope with now. Getting out there. Mixing. Even when you feel like emotional shit, you have to put yourself out there.
So I did. While I was there, I was talking to a wife of another friend who's having some martial problems. I told her I was blogging about my divorce and had posted my Ex's Internet dating bio.
At that point, the hostess walked by and barked impatiently at me, "Oh you've GOT to get over him."
As if somehow my conversation - that she wasn't even a part of - was keeping her from putting out
more canapés.
So I'd like to address this particular blog to all my longtime friends who didn't come to my aid. Who knew I was pain for two years and let me twist in the wind. Who never read this blog. Who never offered to help me pack my house. Or unpack. Who lectured me on how I should handle custody. Who can't bear witness to my anger. Who said I was too needy when I asked for help. And who think they know the depths of my despair but who really don't have a clue.
To them, I'd like to say simply, go fuck yourselves. I will never make time for you again.
And in regards to the friend who admonished me to "get over" my EX. I'd just like to say,
WHEN I'M GOOD AND READY. My blog writing is my way of processing the pain. Sometimes it's funny. Sometimes it's royally pissed off. (Like now, duh.) And since I share custody with the idiot, It's not very likely he's ever going to be out of my life completely. So that makes "getting over him", even more complicated. I mean I'm really sorry if my feelings are inconvenient for you or cause you distress. Too bad. 99% of the time, you don't have to deal with it. Imagine what it's like to be me. I've got to live with it 100% of the time.
