Occasionally, well meaning friends will tell me, "I know it's hard to believe now, but someday you'll forgive your EX. Only when you forgive him, will you be able to move on."
My eyes tend to glaze over when I hear this. The concept of forgiveness is a beautiful one.
I wish I could be more Christ-like about my EX. Unfortunately, I can only be what I am. And that's Sicilian. And if you ever watched any of the Godfather movies, you know that the Sicilians are more likely to put a horse's head in your bed, than pat you on the back and say, "Gee, that's ok, just try to do better next time!"
But you know, when I look back on my relationship, I was very forgiving.
I forgave his failed businesses, and nearly driving us bankrupt.
I turned the other cheek when he cheated on me emotionally.
I pretended it didn't bother me when he'd rather play tennis than be with me. And how he only cared about how much money I earned.
And I gave him a pass on his inability to give me multiple orgasms...or even one for that matter.
And just when I think maybe I can release all of the hate, imagine my glass as half full, and my life filled with sun beams and smiling bunnys - I learn that I can never, ever let down my guard. Because at the root of it all, my EX is a passive-aggressive, lying, immature, selfish, emotionally-stunted putz.
Some cases in point:
I found out he tried to convince my daughter to spend 5 days with him and and only two days with me every week this summer. Worse than that, he manipulated her into presenting it as her idea. When she later rebelled and said it had hurt my feelings. He said defensively, "It was only a suggestion..."
He told me he couldn't get her back on time from their trip to Ohio because he couldn't get a flight back on the day he was supposed to. Then I found out he had planned a river raft trip that same weekend. So do you think he lied? Fuck yeah I do.