Listen To Yourself

I think Prince Charming has a serious problem. In fact I know he does. I used to think he was just an asshole, but now I know it’s more than that. I think he really is mentally ill. He has to be. How can he say the things he does and not hear how they sound. How can the person who is talking not hear how totally irrational they are being?

Here is just one recent example of such insane behavior. 

He has a remote control for the stereo system in our truck and he keeps it in this little hole next to the ashtray. We were in the riding around the other day and he takes a wild left turn. He likes to drive like an asshole, which is why he has gotten four tickets in the past year, but anyway…

So on this turn the remote falls on the floor and rolls under the seat. He starts screaming and cursing. I really don’t want to hear it especially over something so silly. I tell him, “just relax, I’ll find it”. Then I start looking under the seat. While I’m doing this he is still yelling and says “this never happens when you’re not in the car”.

What? Are you saying that the remote falling has something to do with me and nothing to do with your driving? Wow, I wish someone had told me that I had magic powers like that, and could move things without touching them. I would have started using this power a long time ago... to throw things at your head. 

I still have not found that remote and decide to give up looking. I just tell him, “don’t worry about it, the remote will turn up”. Well, this pisses him off even more so he puts the pedal to the metal and starts speeding.

So guess what happens next? Of course, we get pulled over. He gets a speeding ticket. Very nice that makes five in one year. I guess he just loves giving money away.