Luck You

The world is full of lucky people and unlucky people. And just because you’re born one way, doesn’t mean you can switch sides later on. Some people always seem to have “all the luck,” and there are others who seem to travel with a black cloud over their heads.

I’m not sure if we can control fate per se…when I look back on my life so far, it always seems a bit too coincidental for certain things to have come about, which in turn make other things come about. For example, think about everything that had to happen for you to meet the person you’re married to or dating right now. If you hadn’t done that, then that wouldn’t have happened, or that, blah blah blah, and you can drive yourself crazy thinking about all the chain of events. Is that pre-destined fate? Or random coincidence?

I’m still not sure of the answer…but more and more I’m believing that you really can make your own luck. I think it’s all about choices – and most importantly, initiative.

I sometimes believe all the opportunities in the world are floating up above your head – just above eye level. It’s simply a matter of looking up and grabbing them.

Here’s just a small example – based on me. The end of last year, I was beginning to panic heavily because I was worrying about money, and going into (further) debt. I spent many hours agonizing about how I was going to be able to find more freelance clients. And then the solution smacked me in the face. How about asking one of my existing clients if I could double my output. Duh.

Here’s another story. I’m a scuba instructor. About 3 years ago I certified two couples for diving. One of the couples owns a web marketing company. Really great people. We stayed in touch over the years (as I often do with my scuba students) and a few months ago through a Linked-In email, I found out they were looking for a freelance writer. Could I suggest anyone? Yes, as a matter of fact. Me.

At about the same time, I was thinking it was time to hang up my freelance shoes and get back to a “real” job. I would need to start contacting headhunters, and sending my resume out for job interviews.

Or would I?

Instead I simply asked the web marketing company if maybe I could expand my role with them. And they said yes.

Is this luck? Is it fate? I dunno. It was luck of the draw that they ended up as my scuba students three years ago. But everything that happened after that was up to me. I made the effort to stay in touch. I took the initiative.

I made my own luck.

I know some people who say, “everything bad always happens to me.”  But in just about every case, I know these people consistently make bad choices. Or no choices at all. They float on the ocean of life and “wait” for things to happen to them. It’s not surprising then, that they smack into some bad stuff more often than not.

If you don’t take an active role in your own destiny, what do you expect?

All the really good stuff that has happened in my life is because I made it happen, one way or the other. Either by meeting people, or challenging myself, or trying new things.

It’s not quite the same with bad stuff. There is some bad stuff over which I have no control – illness in my family, tragic accidents.

But I have to admit, there’s a lot of bad stuff that’s ENTIRELY up to me. Unhappy relationships, mistakes in jobs, divorce. Do I have bad luck with men? It has nothing to do with men – or luck! I’ve made bad choices!

Now I’m having “good luck.” Why? I opened myself up, I learned to communicate better. I made a better choice.

And I’m having “good luck” in other aspects of my life as well. Have my fortunes really changed? I don’t think so. What happened is, I got off my ass and stopped whining. I got back in the groove and starting MAKING things happen. I made a plan, and I’m acting on it.

The other day I went shopping. In particular, I was looking for some funky shoes to wear with a new Custo skirt (my new favorite label). I figured I’d have a good chance of finding the right thing at Kenneth Cole. As a matter of fact, there happened to be a pair of burgundy round-toed shoes with sort of a retro style in my size – 30% off. The name of the style? “Lucky Day.”

Indeed.

Need a swift kick in the pants to get motivated?  Send me an email. Or check out my book, “Do I Need To Slap You?”