Me VS Them
The Ex Files
I'm sitting here, wondering just how much of a hard-ass I can be. Let me explain.
This is the first holiday that I had custody of my daughter while my Ex's brother and his family are in town. I think it's been tough for my EX not to have our daughter at family functions. It makes it hard for his clan to pretend that everything's all hunky dory. Now they all have to acknowledge and experience the deprivations of divorce. And, I get the feeling they're not liking it much.
My mother-in-law called me before her other son's family arrived to say the following,
"I hope your holiday won't be too terrible this year," in a voice dripping in mock-sadness. (She did the same thing 6 months earlier on my birthday. That's when I when I decided that I wouldn't call her anymore.) I immediately responded in a cheery voice that I thought it was going to be a wonderful Christmas and a fabulous New Year. She wasn't too happy about that. Then she got to the real point of her call. "I hope that the girls will be able to get together while everyone's in town." Now what's interesting about that comment, was she wanted me to make it easy for my daughter and her cousin to see each other - on her terms. She wanted me to say, "Why yes, you can have my daughter during my custody, and you all can pretend that you're the happy little family with no worries and make-believe that I never existed, like my daughter was delivered by a stork."
In their world, I'm supposed to make all the sacrifices because there's more of them. But I decided this year I wouldn't do that. I had already called my former sister-in-law and arranged to have my daughter's cousin stay with us a couple of days so the girls could be together without having to give up my daughter. My former sister-in-law is a child of divorce, so she hasn't been inclined to cut me out of the picture entirely.
