Meet Mr. Stingy, a.k.a. The Crazy-Making Husband
The Crazy-Making Husband
Stingy-ness is next to Godliness -- according to The Crazy-Making Husband. Why give anything to your wife, when you don't have to?
The Encarta World Dictionary defines stingy as "not generous in giving or spending money" and "ungenerously small or inadequate". A veritable Ebenezer Scrooge before his visitations, with The Crazy-Making Husband, 'stingy' goes far beyond the classic definitions of giving and spending money.
For starters, many a Crazy-Making Husband is stingy in earning it! It's one of his *perfect* crazy-making strategies. If he doesn't 'have' it, he cannot be expected to 'give' it. On the other hand, those crazy-makers who do earn good money deeply resent sharing it with their wives and children. Then, there's the man in the middle: he who earns decent money, but refuses to contribute his fair share. In all cases, The Crazy-Making Husband evokes tremendous self-pity by sloshing about in his Rule #3: REALIZE THAT NO MATTER HOW MUCH MONEY YOU MAKE, IT WILL NEVER BE ENOUGH TO SATISFY YOUR WIFE.
The Crazy-Making Husband's stinginess also manifests in every important relational dynamic: attention, affection, emotional support, and time, to name just a few. Withdrawal is his signature stinginess! What crazed wife has not known the devastation of a husband who is 'there but not there'?
How painfully we wives feel his miserly ways! Yet, when we protest, we're told we 'imagine' his stinginess. Or we're too demanding. Both are untrue. The real truth is: The Crazy-Making Husband simply does not -- or cannot -- generously give.
In marriage, the absence of appropriate behavior is just as crazy-making as inappropriate behavior. Every woman has fundamental needs designed -- and deserving -- to be met by her significant other. It's that simple.