More Reflection

I really liked Bonk’s blog about reflection!

Here are my answers:

If you could go back in time to when you first met your EX, would you still marry him? Please explain your answer. 

This is a tough one. If I hadn’t married the ex, I wouldn’t have my son. Also, if I hadn’t been married to the ex, I might not have ended up getting together with my current husband, who is absolutely wonderful. HOWEVER…if someone could guarantee me that I would have the same son and would be married to my current husband WITHOUT being married to the ex…..heck no, I wouldn’t have married the ex! Twelve years of neglect and dysfunction took a serious toll on me. I’m still trying to get over it.

As you went through your divorce, what did you discover about yourself that most surprised you? 

Prior to filing for divorce, I honestly believed I was a useless, disgusting, worthless, unattractive, mean, cold human being. It’s hard not to believe that after hearing it for over a decade. After filing for divorce and managing my new household on my own, I realized I was very competent AND I wasn’t repulsive to the opposite sex! List and celebrate all of your strengths.  I still have a very, very hard time with this. It’s difficult for me to see my strengths; I normally see all of my faults. If I had to point out some of my strengths, it would be that I have a decent brain, I’m usually considered the go-to person in my family for advice and organization, and I’ve always been a hard worker. 

Last year, when were you the saddest? 
Ever since my divorce, I’ve been unhappy with the custody agreement. We have joint custody, and I still feel bad that I wasn’t able to fight in court for a better arrangement. Unfortunately, my ex was willing to spend tens of thousands of dollars on a long fight – money I didn’t have. I still struggle with the fact that I miss out on important things.