My Brain Gets In the Way

I think I’ve solved one of my big problems – and possibly yours too! I don’t have a-ha moments all that often, but this one touched my little nerve.

 So here’s the story. I was on vacation a couple weeks ago in an exotic location – out in stunning countryside, eating interesting food, making a fabulous (and very inexpensive) handbag purchase – all very enjoyable things, and yet I was having trouble just relaxing and drinking it all in. It doesn’t just happen on vacation. I can be taking a slacker afternoon off to get my eyebrows done or go out on the ocean, and the same thing happens. And even when I’m canoodling with my sweetie and not even having a “fat day,” I find it challenging to savor every moment.

What’s my problem?  My brain gets in the way. I just can’t shut the sucker off.

My brain is always grinding through stuff – lots of meaningless static – but more often background processing and simultaneous commentary to whatever I’m going through. Who needs a “Greek chorus” when I have my own brain? It drives me nucking futs.

If I’m trying to relax and enjoy something, my brain will be reminding me of all the other stuff I have to do. But it’s not just a to do list. My brain will be giving me a play-by-play analysis of whatever’s going on, or what people are saying and then providing “expert opinion” on what I really should be thinking, or what the implications will be two months down the line or what pitfalls I should be looking out for.

My usual tool to shut my brain off has typically been the one that comes chilled in green bottles with a cork (or increasingly, even for the fancy ones, a screw top). But that really doesn’t solve the problem – it just masks the symptoms.

The trick for me is getting my goddamn brain out of the way so I can just “be.” I learned how to do it sporadically a few years ago, but I guess with middle age, I’ve lost the skill.

The ability to just “be” is essential for a happy life. The ability to simply enjoy something, or someone without having to subject it or them to a full battery of mental lab tests is a heckuva talent.

I’m not advocating you ignore consequence or responsibility, just that being able to be in the moment is a really useful skill.

Too often we (and by we, of course I mean “I”) allow all this background processing crap and speculation (but mostly crap) to get in the way of actual LIFE. When you’re too busy thinking everything through, and trying to sort out the future ramifications of every little thing, you kind of miss out on living.

The other thing that’s easy to forget is that our lives are constantly, without pause or relief, every second, ticking by. Tick. Tick. Tick. In my opinion, agonizing about stuff without coming any closer to a solution is a huge waste of time. Unfortunately, I do it a lot.

But maybe from now on, a little less. Because now, when I find myself full of mental static, I repeat to myself, “My brain is in the way.” And, as if it were a cranial “Etch-a-Sketch” I do my best to shake it, and erase the patterns until it’s blank.

When I figure out a no-fail way to do that, I’ll get back to you.