My Husband, The Poster Child For Mid-Life Crisis
The Ex Files
“He's suffering from a classic mid-life crisis,” our shrink explained to me during an office visit.
I never really believed in the idea of a mid-life crisis. I thought it was a myth. Like unicorns. Or fair elections.
Seeing it up close and personal, I was reminded of an early Star Trek episode. Spock has a wicked hormonal reaction due to a Vulcan mating ritual called Pon Farr and becomes irritable and stops eating. Dr. McCoy (Damn it Jim, I'm a doctor, not a stonemason!) determines that if he is not brought to Vulcan within eight days, Spock will die due to extreme stress produced by chemicals being pumped through his body. Pon Farr is the Vulcan equivalent of mid-life crisis
I went on the Internet to look up symptoms. From an article in Psychology Today I read:
“ …Some feel an urge to destroy what they've built up, in order to be the kind of person they feel they need to be and to lead a more contented and fulfilling life. People may leave the security of jobs, break family ties and leave relationships in order to deal with distressing feelings. It may represent the unrealistic belief that 'new' means 'better' and that if we only had a new partner or a different job, the painful feelings would go away.”
Whether it’s chemical or delusional, mid-life crisis is complicated. It’s really too bad that kids don’t understand the term. Because when my daughter found out we were separating and looked through the family photo albums, sobbing, “Please don’t do this to me,” it was unfortunate that when I held her in my arms I couldn’t just say: “It’s not you honey, it’s just that daddy’s smack dab in a mid-life crisis and he can’t help it if he wants to pump every 30-year-old woman he sees right now. Some day, when his penis isn’t leading him around, maybe he’ll realize what he’s done. But in the meantime, try not to feel too bad and we both love you very much.”
I asked my EX if our shrink had ever brought up the possibility of mid-life crisis with him. He said no. When he asked the shrink about it later, he was told and I quote: “A mid-life crisis is nothing more than evaluating your marriage.
And you have the right to do that.”
Is that so. I owed that doc $800 for my sessions with him. When I heard what he had said, I decided to pay him back $100 a month for the next 8 months.
