Only Human

I'm only human, as is my boyfriend, so naturally there are going to be times when we get on each others nerves. Times when I want to wring his neck or maybe just put a pillow over his head - not for long, mind you, just long enough to shut him up until my headache goes away.

Time when I fantasize about packing him up Looney Tunes style in a giant crate and mailing him off to Timbuktu. I'd like to say these times were few and far between, but I can't. They seem to visit frequently and camp out for ages until I can't remember what it was like before they were here.
 
Was there ever a time when I didn’t criticize everything he did and then resent him for being lazy when he stopped? Was there ever a time I didn't take exception to the way he played with my son and seethe when he ignored him? Was there once a day when I didn’t loathe his touch and at the same time long for his affection?
 
It is possible that this is just my mixed up mind at work, but he does it to. Nothing I do is ever good enough either. We feed off of one another, trading barb for barb, ignoring him because he ignored her, intentionally leaving things undone just to provoke more anger. We tear each other down and we pick each other apart and we make everyone around us miserable as we wallow in our own self pity.

And in the end we each wonder “Why do we do this to each other? Is it because we really truly hate one another, or is it because we just hate ourselves?”