Only The Lonely

Saturday night, as I stood at my daughter’s Sweet 16 party surrounded by people, I realized I’ve never felt more alone in my life then at that moment.  

I went to my home state this past weekend for the event.  After flying two states away just to get there, I then drove between four different states in preparation for the event involving ex husbands, kids, my family and my exes’ families. It was quite an ordeal.  Mr. Hyde did not come with me because he’s angry at my daughter, and he refuses to attend anything involving her. 

Saturday night, I looked around the room and saw my first husband and his wife, his relatives and my relatives all mingling.  Even my second husband and his wife came to the party.  My current husband was the only important person in my life who was not there and that struck me as significant.

Yes, Mr. Hyde and my daughter fought like crazy when she lived with us, but he’s an adult.  Mature adults don’t hold grudges; immature teenagers do.  But my world seems full of backwards behaviors.  My daughter invited both of us to her party -- it was Mr. Hyde who refused to let things go.  

I was hurt. This is my daughter.  Her leaving our home to go back and live with her father was a devastating blow to me.  I only wanted her happiness, but it was still going to be hard for me to see her and my ex because this was the party I was supposed to plan and instead of planning it, I had to attend it like a common guest.

Of course this led to more arguments; is he going to skip out on everything associated with my daughter?  Will he refuse to let her stay at our house for visits?  Will he not attend any future wedding or birth of her children?  How long was he planning on holding this grudge?