Enjoli, Mistress of White Trash Hell
I have been working hard on being single again. One of the main things that I've been working on is getting "me" back into shape. I've been hitting the gym a lot. I've been getting rid of the Mommy attire and replacing it with clothes that would be good for going out on a date.
Now, I haven't actually "accepted" a date since September. I do have a little freaky something that has been going on for a few months, but I'm not quite willing to share on that just yet...
Anyway, I decided that I really needed to bring the "hottie" back. When I was younger - before becoming a mom - I had a washboard stomach to die for. I worked my butt off for it. I also had great lingerie back then. I had lots of great lingerie because I LIKE LINGERIE. I miss feeling sexy. Nothing kills sexy for a woman like pregnancy and a cheating ahole of a spouse.
So, I have been on the search for new panties, bras etc. etc. I usually frequent the normal haunts for this -- Victoria's Secret, Fredericks and a few department stores. Anyway, against my better judgement I saw a cute pair of pink lace boyshorts panties with roses on them in Walmart. I was there for fabric softener, but the panties called to me and they were my size. I stuck them in my cart.
The next aisle over I ran into my pastor -- he saw them even though I tried in vain to hide them with a box of cereal.
I went to the checkout lane where you check yourself out and scanned the panties. They required a clerk to come and clear them. The clerk had bad eyesight, didn't speak English and had training issues. She held the panties up in the air for all to see while she called "LOUDLY" to other clerks about what she should do. At this point the cute panties attracted about three checkout lanes worth of people. I WAS MORTIFIED.