Papa’s Got A Brand New Hag

The inevitable has happened. J-Fed has replaced me after just five short months. Now, not in the traditional sense mind you, but what could most definitely be interpreted as the figurative sense. I’m not ashamed to admit I played Mommy all of these years. In retrospect, maybe it did contribute to the downfall of our marriage. Or maybe not.

Regardless what’s done is done and Mama’s moving on. That in itself causes a major dilemma as I have large shoes to fill… size eight and half if anyone’s wondering. From cooking to cleaning, bill paying to caretaking, I did it all. I left no chore undone. I was a rolodex, a PDA and an office manager in his professional life, and his rock of Gibraltar in his personal life.

So what’s a boy to do when he’s left to stand on his own two feet, equally as large at size 11? Why recruit a suitable replacement of course!

And that’s precisely what he did. Now, I’m impressed that it wasn’t some busty 21-year-old bartender from the local watering hole. He exceeded my expectations in one respect. Instead his new “roommate” is much closer to home; it’s a friend of ours who temporarily needs a place to stay. At first I was caught off guard to say the least. But since we are no longer married, I have made peace with the whole situation.

I must admit as I showed up at his apartment to drop off daughter Sunday morning and spotted her frying eggs over his stove, I did have to withhold the urge to grab the steaming hot skillet and beat the both of them repeatedly over the head with it. HA! Then who’d be the ones with egg on their faces, literally?  I’m giving them the benefit of the doubt that they are just best friends. Whoever, I still feel inclined to get my digs in where I can. If I didn’t that would make me a very good role model of a bitter ex-wife, would it now?