Passionately Stupid

I sweartagawd you couldn’t write a more amazing script for a movie than this girl I know is living. About eight or so years ago, she married this guy 10 or 15 years older. He’d been married before – and has a son from a previous marriage – who’s now 20 I think. So I guess this gal had been unhappy for some time. Her husband can be difficult – how difficult I don’t really know, but not as difficult as he is now that she’s carrying his SON’S baby. That’s right, she’s pregnant by her STEPSON.

And by the way, the son is a bit of a nogoodnik. He’s been in and out of jail. But this gal started having an affair with him a year or so ago. She even had a secret cell phone she’d use to call him. Of course, eventually she got busted. The divorce is going through, but it’s messy (ya think?) The husband keeps trying to keep her from getting any kind of settlement. Most recently, he gave her “some papers” to sign for the house that needed to be notarized. The gal took them to the bank to be notarized, and the notary said, “You really shouldn’t be signing this.” The NOTARY. You see she was about to sign over ownership of the house to her soon-to-be ex. On the list of “needs improvement” right under “not good at using contraception,” please add “not good at reading either.”

Can you friggin believe this story? I can’t. HOW could she EVER think this would turn out well? How is getting knocked up by your 20 year-old stepson, 9 years your junior, a good idea? He’s not going to support her – because he doesn’t have a job. She makes 10 bucks an hour. Am I cynical? Am I heartless?

I’ll tell you heartless. What really toasts my bagel is that eventually she’ll go crying to the welfare office as a tragic, single mother with a verbally abusive ex-husband who needs our sympathy (and money) because she just sniff can’t make ends meet and you know who will end up footing the bill? YOU and ME honey. Our tax dollars.

So yeah, I am heartless. I have NO sympathy. Yes, it’s sad she was in a bad marriage. But when an unfixable marriage is bad, you END it. You don’t think you will SOMEhow improve the situation if you sleep around – and you certainly don’t sleep around with your HUSBAND’S SON.

I bring this up because it seems to me we often try to fix things by choosing something completely unrelated or ridiculously unproductive that, at the time, seems like a great solution. For example, “my boss pissed me off at work today so I’m going out and getting rat-assed.”

Oh THAT’S a good idea. Yep, get back at that battle-axe by making yourself vomit and waking up with a raging hangover. Sounds like THAT will fix it!

Or, “he didn’t call me back, so I’m going to call him every hour for the next 24 hours until he picks up the phone.” SURE!  Nothing makes a guy’s heart grow fonder than an angry STALKER.

Passion makes us do stupid things. Stupidity also makes us do stupid things. But I like to think my readers aren’t stupid – just passionate. When we are passionate we forget about consequences. We maybe even pretend they don’t exist – particularly when there’s a chance we just MIGHT get away with it. 

But let me tell you. Every time you get away with it, you’re that much closer to getting caught BIG TIME next time. It’s statistics. Do you ever go through in your mind what would happen in the worst possible scenario? You do get pregnant? Or you get pulled over for drunk driving? What all that would mean for your life or livelihood?

It’s not a bad little exercise. Just pick your most reckless idea, and consider the ramifications. Then you can decide beforehand if it’s worth the gamble. I’m quite certain this girl didn’t do it. I’m sure she was passionate. But she was also stupid.