Something wicked this way came… and it was a very angry J-Fed. It was a beautiful, balmy day. I didn’t have a care in the world as I typed away on my computer. And then I heard the roar of the lion. He blew through the door like a raging bull, slamming things, ranting, raving. Judging by the manner in which he was fuming, something VERY serious must have happened.
Had someone broken into his apartment? Had his car been stolen? Had his go-carts been vandalized? What in God’s name had made the Fedster this enraged? I hadn’t seen him this angry since he found that the price of Frappaccinos had gone up with inflation.
“I just lost $5,000. This is the WORST thing that could have ever happened!” he yelled, slamming his keys down on the counter. He huffed and he puffed and for a moment I swore he was going to blow the house down. I cringed with each word that came out of his mouth.
Wow, he had lost $5,000. I stared at him in disbelief for I didn’t even realize that he had $5,000. Ok, so maybe he did in a bank account somewhere, but it’s not like he had five grand lying around his apartment, although it wouldn’t surprise me. He had probably sold one of the kids behind my back on eBay and was likely preparing to ship them as we spoke.
“What happened J-Fed?” I said with a sigh. I knew my best approach was to be the meek and concerned Kiki. So that was the hat I donned for this predicament. During the old days, I’d just call him a stupid ^&* before ever giving him a chance to explain what had happened. But I had become a kinder, gentler Kiki these days in the name of well, my own personal sanity.
“All of my reward points got taken away when I closed the business account that had YOUR name on it. They took them all away. It’s bull^&*)!” he hollered before slamming the door going out into the garage. He had stopped short of blaming me, but I knew deep inside he REALLY wanted to.
I waited as I heard a loud thumping over and over. I hoped he wasn’t banging his head against the wall. But no such luck.
Apparently, he was kicking his go-cart trailer in frustration and anger. That was fine. It was his after all. I’m sure the neighbors were thoroughly enjoying the show. There was nothing like watching a man lose his cool over something completely insignificant.
OK, I can see where J-Fed might have been upset. I mean, who knew what he was missing out on by not having the opportunity to cash in on his reward points… a camcorder, a gold-plated coffee tumbler or maybe even an archery set. The possibilities were endless. I’d be frustrated to if I had spent all that money on beer, go carting, food and other stuff, only to receive nothing in return. OK, in reality, there was a boatload of business expenses that he had made on that account.
“They told me I had 100,000 points and since I cancelled the account I had lost ALL OF THEM!” he shouted.
Now, I still wasn’t sure exactly HOW J-Fed had lost $5,000 by not being able to redeem his points. Last time I checked you could cash your points in for like a free flight, a surround sound system or something nifty that could later be hawked on eBay. However, I found it highly unlikely he had missed out on getting $5,000 cash.
Being the noble Kiki, I called up the credit card company and did my best to rectify the situation and ease J-Fed’s broken heart. After speaking to the representative and explaining to her that the Fedster was extremely upset about losing his $5,000, she dropped a big fat bomb on us.
You see, the credit card had never even been enrolled in the Rewards Club. In fact, at the time we opened the credit card a Rewards program didn’t even exist. Therefore, he had never accrued any points at all. When I asked him who told him he HAD 100,000 points, J-Fed informed me that he assumed he’d probably spent $100,000 on the card over the years so that must have meant that he had 100,000 points. In reality, there were no points at all except the ones he was storing in his head. As the old saying went, nothing lost, nothing gained, well unless you’re counting his temper.
So basically he had completely lost his crap over nothing… literally. Once it was all said and done, J-Fed calmed down and put back on his shiny, happy face, although he was somewhat disappointed.
As for that $5,000, easy come, easy go.