Put On Your Walking Shoes

I went to the doctor today. I’m 36 weeks pregnant. I told them I was having trouble with my mood-swings. I told them I was stuck in a mixed state. I told them it was tearing my marriage apart. I asked them to induce labor so that I could safely return to my medication and get myself stabilized.

After an exam the doctor informed me that I was dilated 1 cm but that the baby hadn’t dropped yet. She’ll check me again in a week and maybe then we can discuss induction. She doesn’t like to induce before the 39th week.

Three more weeks of this hell? It just seems too far away. I’m so tired. I want to sleep but every time I close my eyes horrific memories come rushing back. I can’t stand it much longer. I have no one I can talk to. My shrink can’t fit me in for three weeks. Excitement isn’t even speaking to me after the “talk” we had last night. I’m wound so tight I’m going to snap.

My doctor’s advice? Walk. She says it may help relieve the tension, wear me out enough that I can sleep and make the baby come sooner. So I guess I’m going to put on my walking shoes. What else can I do?