Questions

I don't believe in fairly tale love. I don't believe one only falls in love once and never again. I have loved four men in my short twenty-three years.

The first was Mr. Encyclopedia. It was an innocent love, hero worship for the first man outside of my family who ever tried to protect me. He was in love with someone else and to him I was merely a cute kid. I was brushed aside.

Two years later came Mr. Dangerous. Another protector, he was wild and worldly and I wanted a taste of the life he offered. Unfortunately he wasn't built for monogamy and after spending two years trying to live his liberal lifestyle, I moved on.

Almost immediately after came Mr. Perfect. He was a fling that resulted in a pregnancy and then marriage. I loved him a different way. He was the father of my child and Bubba will always need him to be a part of my life.

Then came Mr. Excitement, a man who was flawed but who loved me despite my flaws; a man who understands me because we share many of the same flaws; a man who finally loves me back.

No, I don't believe love is a rare thing, but simultaneous, shared love is.
Eventually Mr. Encyclopedia wanted me, but it was long after I'd outgrown my need for a protector. Mr. Dangerous promised to be faithful, but I knew it was only a fantasy. Mr. Perfect pleaded to save the marriage but it was only when I'd decided his abuse and infidelity wasn't worth the pain.

Mr. Excitement loved me at the same moment I loved him. He loved me despite my flaws and they are many. I'm bi-polar, co-dependant, a nymphomaniac, an alcoholic, plagued with posttraumatic stress disorder. I'm a terrible cook, a clean freak, an eternal pessimist and I have a deep-rooted fear of commitment, but he shares many of my flaws and we understand and can support one another because of it. Though our volatile tempers have exchanged many harsh words between us, he always speaks of me to others as if I was a saint.