Stranger Things Haven't Happened

All good things don’t come to those who date.

Case in point. I’ve been divorced for almost nine months now. I’ve had my share of dates – the good, the bad and the unmentionable. There are some I don’t ever speak of – to protect the innocent, the guilty and the utterly bizarre.

And there are those I do speak of – the booger-picking bandit, the date that gave my dog kennel cough which essentially killed my other dog and now, the phantom package-giving perv who heisted my credit card number and sent me a piece of downloadable software for sewing that cost over $1,000.

I’m all for getting flowers, a box of candy and even a nice piece of lingerie from the object of my affection. What I am not for is someone ordering me a computer program, charging it to my credit card and not even sending a note. Ok, so maybe it didn’t come from a potential suitor at all. Maybe just maybe this is the BIGGEST coincidence that’s ever happened to me, although I’m from the school of thought that there are no coincidences.

Let me preface this by saying that the rational part of me can’t wrap my head around this actually being related to my social life. It just doesn’t make sense. I haven’t dated anyone who would go to such great – not to mention downright weird and illegal – lengths to get my attention. The reality is that someone probably heisted my credit card number, my address and my special credit card code, which makes me feel much better. I think…

But here’s where it gets a little freaky. I’m a pretty sarcastic person in general, and I often make a lot of wise cracks. So recently when a couple of guys ask me what I like to do, I explain to them that I sew. I crochet. And I knit… to techno. Even though I do none of the above. But to see the looks on their faces, you’d think I’d just asked them to hand over their family jewels.